He blamed everyone around him. People who proactively solved problems got on his nerves because he couldn't join in, since they were self-sufficient and couldn't take part in the constant talk about hardships.

But he was used to problems. His whole life had been one problem after another. His mother, though a good person, was always looking for negatives and issues, and his father was always solving them. Still, they lived harmoniously. Compatible pathologies. Of course, that lasted only until old age, when the mother unconsciously resented her husband for no longer being able to take part in the process of creating and solving problems. The father no longer had the energy or strength for it, and her intensified focus on problems confronted him with his own aging.

So that was his home, a familiar territory, the security he had felt his whole life.

Whenever he began to enjoy life, dissatisfaction and dejection would well up within him. He would enter an unsafe zone where there were no problems. And in the safe problem-solving zone, he felt, even under stress, a subconscious comfort and security like the one he had felt in his parents' home.

Spiritual life became fuel on the fire, because besides seeking oneself, there lived here an element of an inexhaustible source of problems—parts of him that needed transformation.

He looked into the Source's eyes and realized how panicked and afraid he was. "Why are you asking me to be happy?" the child who had to leave home and the people he loved cried out within him. On the other hand, there was a sense of satisfaction and tranquility when he had problems to solve. Both mother and father lived within him. Creating and solving. Banal tasks and responsibilities were both problems and solutions.

“He is happy,” Izvor said, “and as happiness becomes more apparent and closer, his resistance grows and he feels like he's leaving home and security behind. Whenever something problematic happens, he blows it out of proportion to extreme degrees so he can stay in his comfort zone.”

The solution has been right in front of him all along: accepting his present—he is happy.

“He must let himself into the new and into life. He knows that I am always with him and knows that he is happy. But by letting himself into life, into the new, outside the familiar zone, he accepts me. I worry, but he can live freely. He now knows himself; his soul is there and he doesn't have to identify with anything external. Wherever he is, home is within him. Happy and secure; that is the state of organic creation and an integrated soul—he just has to face it.”